You were always my “Someone Else”.
Even though we never stayed in touch.
But we didn’t need to did we? We recognized ourselves in each other and didn’t need the expectations to be anything we weren’t or couldn’t be.
I creeped you on Facebook today. For the first time. Ever.
Ten years later.
That’s hard to believe isn’t it?
A part of me was scared of what I would find.
Or more accurately what I wouldn’t find.
But there she was. A head full of hair. A beautiful, growing teenager – with a smile to rival any.
Standing with awards and proud parents.
My heart exploded!
I just went through old photos and there she is in so many. There you are.
Both of you nearly bald.
How has it been ten years?
Ten years since we met. Since I gave you that Pink Fuzzy Bird. Just like mine.
Since we made each other go outside and breathe fresh air. Since we made each other leave their sides – for just an hour while they slept.
I remember when we finally left. Six weeks later. For good. We got to leave before you. A part of me ached for you even though I so much wanted to go.
And then a part of me wanted to stay. Safe. Secure. Up on 6. The opposite of what most feel about that number. That floor.
I remember soon after I left – your letter to me. Her heart stopped from one of the drugs. I wasn’t there. How could of that happened when I wasn’t there? When I wasn’t there for you?
I remember when we came back with the liver disease. For a month. And then it was you who wasn’t there. My turn to feel the loneliness. My turn to walk in the darkness for real this time.
There are stories of people and friendships that were forged during these times – who still stay in touch and have become each other’s comrades for life. Side by side. Best friends in each others lives.
That isn’t our story. That isn’t what everyone always needs. We needed all the strength we could muster to be what we needed to be for them. There was little left to give.
How can a time with someone that was so fleeting be so significant?
I love that we never tried to be any more or any less than what we were to each other.
We didn’t need to be.
You were perfect.
We were perfect.
Exactly what I needed. At the time when I needed you most.
My Someone Else.